Peace Corps Guatemala

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Moving forward

I wanted to post about what has been going on in my life and end my blog on a postive note.  So here it goes!

I finally feel like my self again.  After a long time of struggling through everything in Guatemala, I finally feel like I have my life together.  I left Guatemala in March 2012.  As you all know, I was heart broken to leave.  Lito (my cat Senor Frijolito) and I packed up our stuff and flew home.  I was talking to the man next to me and he asked if I was excited to come home.  At that moment I was looking out over Minneapolis...crying.  It had hit me (again) that I was moving home and there would be no more Guatemala in my every day life.  I looked at him and tried so hard not to show my tears.  I just said, actually I'm pretty sad.  I think it surprises people when they hear I would rather live in Guatemala with nothing than in the amazing USA with everything.  I got off the plane and had gotten myself together.  I told myself I wouldn't cry and that everything was going to be great!  After 15 hours of traveling, which was after 3 weeks of traveling, I finally hugged my mom.  Everything that I had been feeling for the last year came out in that one moment at the airport.  I burst into tears.  Hard, real, tears. 

Needless to say the first few weeks home were hard, sad, and hopeless. 

I flew to South America and traveled for about two months with my friend Carrie, from Guatemala.  We had an amazing time traveling, meeting new people, and seeing new things.  It was an amazing trip and something inside of me gave me confidence to be able to live my life in the states. 

I got home and it hit me again...reverse culture shock.  Why is everyone always on their phones?  How is the city bus so nice?  Where is all the street food?  These tortillas just wont do. 

I knew the only thing that would make me happy is if I got a job and figured out my life.  So, I did.  I applied to everything and anything.  My first application was for an ice cream truck driver then there was the dog walker/babysitter.  I then realized, oh yeah!  I have a degree....maybe I should use it?  I started applying for job after job on a nonprofit website for minnesota.  Now, after all of this, I am working at The Link as a Housing Program Assistant.  I am working with at risk youth of homlessness and mental illness. 

Even though leaving Guatemala was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, I am happy that I did.  I have a job that will help build my career and I enjoy it.  It is hard moving past the Peace Corps and starting a new life, but it really feels great to have had the experience.  Life is what you make of it.  If you sit around and do nothing then you will get nothing in return.  I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason, and life continues show me its true.  I am moving on from the Guatemala chapter and moving forward.

  I will still keep Guatemala close to my heart and I will be visiting my Guatemalteco family in December. 

El Fin,

Paz